Hectic.

*Phoebe stumbles into her room and closes the door. She looks absolutely exhausted.*

Phoebe) Hope, never again am I going to a Crittermas party. Never.

Hope) Er... wanna chocolate?

*Suddenly there is a loud crash and the door is pulled off it's hinges!*

 Phoebe) It's a push door, dumbo.

*She Phases just encase and turns to see who has been stupid enough to pull a push door.*

*Just to say that for a while the 'Rodent translator version 5x' is going to be on...*

Phoebe) Slick.

*Thank you! Anyways...*

 *In the doorway are 3 humans in the sort of suits government agents wear, who've pulled the door off it's hinges. Each have a rodent sitting on their shoulders: A squirrel, a guinea pig and a rat. The squirrel looks at Phoebe the gerbil.*

Squirrel) GET HER!!!!

*Chaos.*

*The agents try to grab Phoebe but she slips under the bed. They pull the bed out of the way (this takes some time as it is a platform) by which time Phoebe has slipped away and is posing as a toy. This doesn't work so she slides though the men's legs and out the door frame, with Hope, Glory and Italics following her.*

Guinea pig) Darn!

Squirrel) Shoot!

Rat) Fu-- hey, look who's here...

*What?! *Gulps**

Rat) You'd better be coming with us mister...

*Aaaagh! Phoebe! Help MEEEEEE...*

Christmas is a coming in...

Glory) Whoo! It's nearly Christmas! I love Christmas! Or Crittermas, as we animals call it.

Phoebe) What were you saying about Crittermas, Glory?

Glory) Crittermas is an animal's equivalent of Christmas. Hope can tell you more.

Hope) Ah yes, Crittermas! It marks the day when a group of animals (rodents I think) got together and decided that animals needed a special winter festival. Weather this happened before or after the human Christmas celebration is unclear, but what happened was that these animals got together a load of gifts and started giving them out to other animals. Now, these gifts were mostly nuts, which weren't so desirable to meat eaters, so the animals went in search of other things to give. They came across cans of paint, which they used to paint patterns on the meat eaters, so that's why they have such colorful coats. That last bit is probably made up.

Phoebe) You're telling me.

Glory) Yes, but the rest is true. And that's why I love Crittermas, 'cause rodents invented it!!

Hope) Well, it's possible, though I expect if you asked a cat they'd say they invented it.

Glory) Eek! CATS!!

*Runs and hides under the table cloth.*

Hope) Every year on Crittermas Eve there's a celebration, which consists mainly of a public gathering. At Crittermas all animals are neutral so even foxes and such come. It's quite cool.

Phoebe) Hope, if I Phase into a gerbil, do you think that I could come?

Hope) Sure!! Pets and all sorts come, so you won't be out of place. I even think S.U.E.A.C and P.A.W.S come to help keep the peace.

Phoebe) Keep the peace?

Hope) Well, y'know, lots of animals in one place, carnivores and herbivores all in the same burrow, things can get a bit... tense. best to be on the alert.

Phoebe) Ah! I understand. Well, I think I'll go. I never sleep well on Christmas Eve anyway.

Italics) Ooh! I wish I could go, but there's a Christmas party at The Italicing Council.

Glory) Wait a sec, it's SNOWING!!

Hope) Whoo!

*Every one runs outside. Bye people!*

Words of Wisdom...

Phoebe) Remember, friends, a gerbil in the hand is worth 2 in the burrow.

Hope) The early bird gets the worm, the late mouse gets the cheese.

Italics) The pun is mightier than the sword.

Glory) People who live in glass houses, should really consider moving, because everyone can see them when their in the bath.

All) Ta da!!

Wow. Impressive.

*Phoebe opens the double doors. There are carpeted stairs going down into what looks like a big amphitheater, and there is a huge portal in the middle. Just then another set of doors open and The Boss and co. come tumbeling in.*

Boss) Quick!! We're being chased! Through the portal!!"

*Everyone starts leaping down the steps and thorough the portal. Phoebe is last. As she looks around she sees Raptor and Reptile Phases charging through the doors. Phoebe gives a yelp and dives through...*

Devic) Deada! Get her!

*...And lands in a heap in the Mammal Phase's HQ.*

Boss) Quick!! Seal it!

*A man runs up and turns some dials on a remote-type-thing. The portal begins to shrink.*

Devic) Aaaagh!! NO! Waaaaaa!

Deada) Grow up...

*The portal closes.*

Phoebe) Phew! Glad that's over!

Glory) Can we go home now?

Boss) Sure, you've helped enough. But first lets have dinner, I'm extremely tired of living on all that over cooked prison food...

*Aah! That's better! After supper everyone is lined up outside another portal. Phoebe is waving goodbye.*

Phoebe) Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, and good luck on the war! bye bye!!

*She steps through the portal.*

Hope&Glory) BYE!!

*They go through.*

Italics) Bye, Boss!

*He leaps through.*

Boss) You too, Asterisks!

*Oh yeah, bye Boss! Thank you for having me and everything my mum would tell me to say!*

Boss) Bye!

*I step through the portal and it closes.*

*Back at Phoebe's place...*

Phoebe) Hey, it's still the exact same time that we left!

Hope) How fascinating! Time must work differently in that other place.

Glory) Well, that appears to be the end of that saga.

Italics) THE END!!

(For now...)

Oh no, not this AGAIN.

Phoebe) SQUEAK SQUEAK nibble SQUEEEEEEAK!!!!

*She gestures wildly to the lead attacking Phase. The leader is smiling cruelly as he points some sort of lazer at them. The beam stuns them all at once and they black out.*

Lead Phase) Oi! You too!!

*I was just going... zzzzzz...*

*Ow. They wake up to find themselves chained to some pipes sticking out of the wall.*

Phoebe) *Who is now back to human form* Ow... I'm getting more than a little tired of this.

Glory) *Groan* Join the club.

Hope) My head hurts...

Phoebe) Well, we can't just sit here, we have to DO something.

Glory) Hope... I've just had a thought...

Hope) Must be something new to you...

Glory) Didn't you say that sleeping gas was odorless?

Hope) Ye-es...

Glory) Well, we smelled something!

Phoebe) I think it was rust... did the gas come out of pipes?

Hope) It must've... but then that means...

All three) RUSTY PIPES!!

*Phoebe give a really hard shove at the pipe she's on with her shoulder. The pipe cracks.*

Hope) Again! Again!

*Phoebe shoves it again. This time it completely snaps off.*

Phoebe) YES!

*Phoebe starts karare-chopping everyone elses pipes as they come round.*

Italics) *Waking up* Ugh! Hey, Phoebe. Why is it you who's always the first one awake?

Phoebe) Gerbil blood. Come on people, we need to find out where we are.

*They walk along, the passage way steadily getting cleaner. The come to some double doors. Phoebe opens one a crack and looks inside.*

Phoebe)... whoa

Yes, this entirly inappropriate, but I just HAD to, y'know?

*While chaos reigns.*

Phoebe) I just wanted to say-- *Ducks* That this post makes-- *Leaps out of the way as some one lunges at her* the record for most posts in a month November with 10 posts in total!! Right, down to buisness... *Phases to half way and starts attacking people*

Phoebe) Bye bye!!

No, this is NOT fun, no matter what you may think.

*Phoebe is floating in a huge bubble. She looks annoyed.*

Phoebe) Hey.

Blaze) He-ey...

Phoebe) I've found the other Phases.

*All around the room are giant bubbles with the rest of the origonal group in them. The Boss smiles from in his while hanging upside down.*

Blaze) Aaagh!!

*He is being pulled by some invisible force towards an empty bubble. Italics leaps fowards and drags him back.*

Phoebe) Great. Blaze appears to be a Phase too.

Blaze) I'm a squirrel.

Phoebe) Well phase then. Italics can put you in his pocket.

*It happens.*

Phoebe) Right, now, does anybody have a rope?

*Before anyone can do anything, however, the door is thrown open and a load of Reptile Phases come in.*

Phoebe) Frick.

Lola) Quick Derick!! Throw your cardboard shoes at them!!

*There is chaos. Phoebe gives a huge push off one side of the bubble and shoots out. She Phases and runs up Italics's leg. She clings onto his sholder.*

Phoebe) SQUEK! NIBBLE! SQUEAK!!

Italics) WHAT?! I don't speak Rodent!!

*Phoebe points with her tail first at all the escapies, at her and Italics, and then at the door.*

Italics) Ok! Come on people!!

*He starts herding everyone out the door. One small girl is too scared to move so Italics picks her up and runs with her.*

Italics) MOVE!!

Meanwhile...

Italics) Blaze! MOVE!!

*A shelf starts falling. Gwithian dives out of the way. He only just makes it.*

Italics) WE NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE!! WHERE'S PHOEBE?!

Sophie) I SAW HER DIVE THROUGH A DOOR, BUT I THINK SOME SHELVES FELL ON IT!

Italics) WE NEED TO FIND ANOTHER DOOR!!

*Suddenly the aisle of shelves starts to cave in. They run, but Gwithian slips. The shelves fall on him!*

Italics) BLAAAAZE!!

*Then a small, red, furry head pokes out from beneath the fallen shelves.*

Jack) A squirrel.

*The squirrel slowly turns back onto Gwithian. He looks utterly bemused.*

Gwithian) What... the... Hell...

*You seem to be a Phase.*

Gwithian) I noticed. But HOW?!

Italics) Well, Miranda's a fox. You must have a couple of Phase ancestors.

Charlotte) Look. We NEED to get out of here, and hopefully find Phoebe too. Lets worry about this later, OK?!

Italics) Yeah!! Come on!! We need to find another door!!

*They continue to work their way among the shelves and smashed potions. One of the boys manages to step in something which makes his shoes turn into cardboard, but not much else happens. Their attackers seem to have fled, so they are seemingly alone. Then, as they are passing some of the few shelves that are still standing, a green scaly figure lunges at them!! Gwithian grabs a random potion and chucks it at the crocodile. It hits it square in the face and the crocodile is turned into a handbag. They continue walking.*

Italics) Look a door!!

*They rush and open the door.*

Gwithian) ...ouch.

RUN!!

Phoebe) RUN!!!!

*They start running down the isle of shelves. The crocodile bursts through the door followed by a load of other Phases. Phoebe turns a corner too sharply and crashes into one of the shelves, knocking off bottles. She has just enough time to register the fact that the shelf is labled 'Explosive Brews' before she hears a roar behind her and starts running again. Meanwhile the potions she knocked off have smashed on the floor and are mixing.*

Lead Phase) Uh oh.

*KA-BOOM.*

*The potions room now looks like a cross from 'Shrek the 2nd' when they steal the love potion, and 'Harry Potter: the Order of the Phenix' in the Hall of Prophicies scene when the smash all the glass balls.*

Phoebe) RUN!!

Italics) WE ARE!!

Phoebe) WELL RUN FASTER!!!

*The room continues to fall a part. Phoebe reaches a door at the other end of the room and dives through it, just a huge row of shelves falls on the door.*

Phoebe) Dammit.

Ok, that is the last time I try to nibble 7 people out of danger.

Phoebe) Ow. My jaw.

Gwithia) Oh well, at least we're free.

Felix) And dragging heavy bits of wood behind us on chains.

Phoebe) Oh shush, what would you have done?! Anyways, now we need to wait for the food bringer to come.

*They all line up against the wall with the door in it. Not before long the food bringer comes in. He opens the door, looks about him, and suddenly starts forward. Phoebe does a flying kick that sends him sprawling. Gwithian holds a flame down to him while Phoebe jumps on his back.*

Gwithian) One wrong move and I will burn all your hair off, understand?!

Man) Surprisingly, yes.

*Phoebe Rummages in his pockets and finds some keys. She unlocks the chains from the other kids/teenagers/whatever-you-like's feet. She then puts her own chains around the mans feet and some more on his arms. Then she stuffs part of a 'Team Fred' flag in his mouth.*

Phoebe) That should do it.

*They walk out of the door, and Gwithian closes it. There is a satisfying 'click' as the door locks.*

Phoebe) Now to find Hope and Glory!

*They carry on, and soon Phoebe Phases into full gerbil and runs to the side of the passage.*

Lousy) What... is she doing...?

Gwithian) I think she's talking to those 2 mice.

*Phoebe Phases back.*

Phoebe)  Along, right, left, middle fork, 9th door on the right.

*They follow the directions.*

Gwithian) So anyway, how do you keep your clothes?

Phoebe) Natural materials Phase with me. Anything else just stays the same size. Ah, here we are!

*They stop outside a door, and Phoebe starts trying keys. Finally one works and she opens the door.*

Phoebe) Hope! Glory! Italics!

Hope, Glory & Italics) PHOEBE!!!

*They run to hug each other. Well, Hope and Glory do, Italics just stands there for a few moments looking uncomfortable before Phoebe, rather awkwardly, shakes his hand.*

Italics) Um, yeah, thanks...

Phoebe) Well, we've got to get going. Some one might've heard the noise...

*They all continue to creep down the corridor. Suddenly they hear a noise!!!!*

Voice) WHAT?! ESCAPED PRISONERS!!! ALL GUARDS ON ALERT!! WE HAVE SOME ESCAPED PRIS-- OI!! COME BACK HERE!!!!!

*Everyone, not wanting to hang around, are running down the corridor. Phoebe opens a door at random and ushers everyone inside. Then there is a roaring noise and they all rush out again.*

Phoebe) WRONG DOOR!!

*She opens another one and checks it this time. She beckons to the others and they run in, slamming the door behind... OI!! WAIT FOR ME!*

Phoebe) Oops! Sorry!

*She opens the door and I go in.*

Gwithian) Few. Right, where are we?

Phoebe) *Reading from a sign* The Potions Room, apparently.

Gwithian) Hmm... Mind potions... Weather elixir... Ooh!! BODY FORMULAS!!

Phoebe) OF COURSE!!

*Phoebe takes down a bottle.*

Phoebe) A dash of this... a drop of that...

*She has found a small cauldron from somewhere and starts mixing things.*

Phoebe) Just a little heat... Gidso--

Gwithian) No. I need a new name. Hows about... Blaze Nothing!!

*Pause.*

Phoebe) Ok, 'Blaze', I need a small flame.

Gwithian/Blaze) *While heating up the mixture* Since when did you know how to make potions?

Phoebe) Since now.

Gwithian) So you have no idea what you're doing?

Phoebe) Nope. Now drink.

*Gwithian, rather reluctantly, drinks the potion.*

Gwithian) Aagh!!

*He doubles over.*

Gwithian) Whoa, this feels weird.

*He relaxes and takes off one of his gloves.*

Gwithian) Whoo! I have skin!

*The others are looking on with curious expressions and Gwithian takes off the hat, scarf and other glove.*

Gwithian) Yes!

*Suddenly there is a banging from the other side of the door...*

*A huge crocodile tail comes part way through...*

Phoebe) Uh oh...

Gwithian) They've found us.

Phoebe) And they have Phases on their side.

*A cruel yellow eye looks from the hole in the door. It is huge.*

Phoebe) RUN!!!

Italics) Dun dun dun duuuuun!

Ow... My Head...

*Phoebe wakes up and opens her eyes. She's in a room with a load other boys and girls, most of whom are asleep and chained to their beds.*

Phoebe) Whoa... where am I?

Random Girl) Chained by your feet to the foot of a bed, in a darkish room in some sort of underground hide out.

Phoebe) A bit more than I needed to know, thanks.

Girl) Meh. What ever.

Phoebe) So, how long have I been here?

Girl) About half an hour.

Phoebe) Kewl. Wait a sec, where are Hope and Glory?

Girl) Who and who?

Phoebe) They're my pet talking gerbils. They where captured when I was.

Girl) Oh, I think the food person said something about them. They Escaped 3 1/2 times.

Phoebe) In half an hour?

Girl) Ye-ep.

Phoebe) Well, I doubt that re-enforced concrete would keep a gerbil in for long. I should know.

*Suddenly the doors open, and a big man carries a small boy into the room. His face is mostly covered by a scarf and hat.*

Phoebe) I only know 2 people like that, and ones a book character...

*The figure stirs and sits up.*

Gwithian) Ow... where am I?

Phoebe) Not quite sure, Gwi-- I mean Gidsom.

Girl) ??

Phoebe) He had to change his name. Y'know that time when book characters kept coming into our world?

Girl) Ye-es...

Phoebe) Well, he got sucked through into the book world, as did I and numerous other people. Anyways, he went through and discovered he was a magician. He changed his name randomly and now it's stuck as Gidsom Bastrap.

Girl) Ouch.

Phoebe) I know.

Girl) But, why the scarf and hat?

Phoebe) Maybe... not right now... he seems to have turned into a younger Skulduggery Pleasant...

*The girl's eyes widen.*

Girl) You means he's a...

Phoebe) Yes.

Girl) Ow.

Phoebe) Indeed.

*'Gidsom' has been examining the chains.*

Gwithian) Hey, Phe--

*Phoebe mouths something at him.*

Gwithian) Regina, do you think you could get out of your chains? They don't seem to be magically re-enforced.

Phoebe) Ok, I'll try...

*She concentrates and begins to Phase. Soon there is a great gerbil where Phoebe was lying, and the chains are w-a-y too big for her.*

Girl) She's one of the Phases.

Gwithian) Well spotted.

*Phoebe phases to half way and sets about biting the foot of Gwithian's bed, which is wooden. Soon she has nibbled off quite a large piece.*

Girl) You're going to nibble your way out.

Phoebe) You gotta better plan?

Girl) Well, no--

Phoebe) Exactly.

*Hey!! What about me!!*

Phoebe) I'll do you after I've done Gidsom.

*Ok, I just didn't wanna be left here. Oh! Some of the others are waking up.*

Random Boy) Whoa... how did she get out?

Girl) Look at her ears.

Boy) Wow... She's one of the Phases...

Girl) Yes, and she's going to get us out!!

Boy) Awesome!!...how?

Girl) Search me.

Italics) Oh no, what will happen? Will Regina be able to nibble the others to freedom or are they doomed to end their lives down here?! Keep watching this blog or you won't find out!!

Phoebe) How on Earth did you get in here?!

Italics) It's part of my job description.

The Tunnel....

Italics) Sooo... Phoebe (A.K.A Regina) discovered a secret tunnel and The Boss has arranged a group of Phases to help look around it. Well, me and the gerbils are going too.

Boss) RIGHT!! EVERYONE READY?!

All) YES!!

Boss) GOOD! WE WILL NOW ENTER THE TUNNEL!!

*They go in, and--*

Boss) Hey! Who said you could come?!

*Well, you'll need some one to do the Asteriscing, won't you?*

Boss) Fair point. You can come.

*Right, where was I? Oh yeah, the tunnel. They go down the stairs and look around.*

Italics) It's a tunnel.

Hope) We'd noticed.

Phoebe) It's very dark down here.

Hope) Wadda surprise.

Glory) Well, the enterance has just closed over our heads leaving us trapped down here and not even being able to see where the stairs are.

*Pause.*

All) AAAAAAAAAAGH!!

*Every one is panicking.*

Boss) SHUUUUUUDUUUUUUP!!!!!!!

*Every one shuts up.*

Boss) Glory, did you have to say that?

Glory) I was just commenting...

Boss) Well, as Glory here has so kindly pointed out, the entrance has sealed over, so we have no choice but to continue down the tunnel.

*They continue, but have turned on lamps so they can see a bit more. All are in human form.*

 *Presently...*

Phoebe) Hope, you smell something?

Hope) Yeah, I think so...

*They continue. Suddenly there is a great whoosh sound and a rush of gas comes out of some pipes on the wall.*

Phoebe) AAAGH!! Seeping gas!!

Hope) I THOUGHT  SLEEPING GAS WAS ODERLESS!!

Glory) JUST RUN!

*They run, but the gas is too strong. They all fall asleep in the passage... *zzzzzzzzz...*

Italics) *YAAAAWN* Oh...No... what will... happen................... *Zzzzzzz...*

Strange Events....

Italics) So yeah. Jetta tried to do smething to this blogs previous plotlines, but it went wrong. Very wrong. And now she's having a trial about it.

Judge) RIGHT!! SCILENCE IN THE COURT!!

*Everyone zips it.*

Judge) THAT INCLUDES YOU, ASTERICS GUY!!!

*Whatever...*

Judge) ANYWAY, WE ARE ALL BROUGHT HERE, MANY OF US AGAINST OUR WILL, TO OVERSEE, BERE WITNESS, DEFEND, OR ACUSE JETTA HERE. WE WILL NOW BEGIN.

Acuser) Well, I was having a peaceful walk down the corridoor, when--

Phoebe) I OBJECT!!!!

Judge) AND WHY DO YOU OBJECT?

Phoebe) He's in a wheel-chair (no offence to all those wheel-chair uses out there). He couldn't have been walking!!

Judge) QUITE CORRECT!! ACUSER, YOU ARE NO LONGER VALID.

Acuser) Unfair judge and lousy girl...

Judge) ANYWAY, YOU SPEEK IN THE DEFENCE, REGINA DOVE?

Phoebe A.K.A Regina) Yes I do. I was rather anoying her.

Jetta) *desperatly* Yeah, she was rather annoying me!

Phoebe) Jetta wanted revenge...

Jetta) Yeah, I wanted revenge!

Phoebe) And Jetta does have over-sised paws...

Jetta) Yeah! And I do have over-- REGINA!!

Phoebe) Exibbit A. My irritatingnes.

*The jury start to write something down.*

Hope) This is a very strange place we're in.

Phoebe) Witness 1. Hope the gerbil. You are a gerbil, like your sister Glory and like how I Phase?

Hope) Yes.

Phoebe) Jetta Phases as a cat?

Hope) Yes.

Phoebe) Exactly. Rodents and cats have been squabbling since they both existed on the Earth. It was natural for Jetta to want to do something to us.

*The jury nod and wite this down too.*

Phoebe) I conclude that Jetta's reactions to us where natural and it was only the ways in which they were carried out which brought them to our notice. And might I add, that as the victim, Jetta's crimes cannot be too bad for I am defending her.

*Phoebe steps back and treads on something. There is a loud growning and a peice of floor opens up with stairs going down in it. WTH?!*

Judge) SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!! THE TRIAL HAS BEEN POSTPONED!! I WILL CONTACT THE BOSS!!!

Italics) Dun dun dun duuuuuuun!

Yeah, we're still here. Just thought I'd show you something to ease the boredom.

Phoebe) Well, yeah. Jetta's having a trial soon about what she did to that remote control thing which got us transported everywhere, and we're all waiting around for it to start happening already, and the only thing to do is read the Twilight Saga books over and over, so I thought I'd show you this in the short time we're allowed to use the web:

Glitter Text @ Glitterfy.com

What it says is 'Wait a sec, you haven't read Twilight? WHAT KIND OF SICK WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN?!' but I can't get it to work right. Orlaigh, can you tell me?

Ohhhhhh, boy.

*Everything is exactly the same as before except now Phoebe's in gerbil form and the Boss is standing with them. The gerbils are all 'thumping' (yes, gerbils 'thump', a bit like rabbits) in a row.*

Italics) Girls! Snap outta it!!

*Hope, Glory and Phoebe all jump about 6 inches into the air. Phoebe phases back.*

Phoebe) Oh, thanks.

Boss) Right, now that we have you in a form that can talk, what are we going to do-AAAAAAAAAAAA

*They are all sucked in to a vortex...*

*... and land on a Hawaiian beach.*

Glory) Oh no! Not this again!!

*Before they can move a director, a Terror-lizard and a giant evil mutant bear come from a near by jungle.*

Hope) LEG IT!!!

*They run and are soon joined by another Gerbilzzzz Gang running from a reporter.*

Italics) AAAAAAAAAGH!!!

*There is a huge pile of ice cream sundaes on the beach. They are running too fast and they all fall into it.*

Phoebe) Who knew heaven could be so cold...

*Then another portal opens and they are sucked into Runescape.*

Lionstar) Oh boy, not you again.

Phoebe) Yes boy, us again, and I don't know why you look so annoyed.

Lionstar) Remember this?

*She points at a large cut on her arm.*

Lionstar) *In a poor imitation of Phoebe's voice* Just a trip to Karamja, she says, just a few giant scorpions, she says. I get 6 BLOODY HIT POINTS OFF ME!!

Phoebe) Well, I didn't know you weren't going to use your 2h sword did I?!

Italics) Whoa! Whoa! Chill already! I'm just gonna use the code again...

*He uses the code and they sucked into another portal. This time they land back at the Good Phases base. Jetta is still trying to do something to the remote.*

Boss) Give it here...

*Jetta gives it and the Boss presses some buttons. Things gradually turn back to normal.*

Phoebe) Uuuuuugh...

Hope) Are you alright?

Phoebe) Yeah, but I think my stomach's still 2 portals away...

Glory) It'll be alright.

Phoebe) Yeah.

*The Boss if now looking very hard at Jetta. She looks very sheepish.*

Boss) Oh Jetta, what am I going to do with you?

JETTAAAAA!!!!!

*It is absolute pandemonium. There are elder flowers blooming everywhere, tree-people running about trying to harvest knowledge and growth-syrup turning everything huge. In the midst of it are the Gerbilzzzz Gang, looking about them in a sort of silent horror.*

Italics) What... The... Hell...

Phoebe) I'm as confused as you, and I have the added senses of a great gerbil.

*Phoebe looks around for Hope and Glory, and sees them pressed against a wall.*

Phoebe) Hey!! Girls!

Hope) Yes?

*Phoebe jumps and turns around. There are Hope and Glory everywhere!!*

Phoebe) WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??!!

Italics) Who're the real ones?!

Hope) We all are, just from different posts. Those ones must be from before you found out that we can talk!!

Phoebe) That could explain a lAAAAAAAAA!!!

*A portal thing opens and an Italics falls onto her.*

New Italics) Sorry!

*Phoebe looks up and sees...*

Phoebe) JETTA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

*Jetta is frantically pressing buttons on a sort of remote control. She is very pale.*

Jetta) I wanted to give you a fright! I was jealous, so I tried to get the tree people back! But I've lost control!

Glory) We can see that!

*Just then the Boss runs in.*

Boss) What the f*** is happening?!

*Phoebe, Italics, Hope and Glory all point towards Jetta.*

Boss) We have a situation...

Italics 1, 2 and 3) Oh no! What will happen?! Will this place be sorted out, or will previous plot lines continue to fall on our heads for ever?! Find out next time!!

Italics 1) Very good, that, I liked the...

Italics 2) Oh yes you're really quite the guy...

Italics 3) Well, I say a job well done...

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Training and assessing...

Trainer) Oh your marks, get set... GO!

*Everyone starts the obstacle course. The first thing is a beam hanging some way off the ground. Phoebe crouches for a moment, then springs up and lands on it easily. She runs along it and comes to a rope. She goes fully gerbil and scrambles along, using her sharp claws to grip it. She reaches the other end and stops. Her ears go down as she looks at the pool of water in front of her. She phases to half way and, taking a deep breath, jumps in. For a moment she just splashes around, trying to get calm. Then she pushes off with a strong stroke and swims to the end. She clambers out, soaking wet but triumphant. The next thing is a maze, but it's covered so there's no light. Phoebe just smiles and runs in.*

*A while later. Phoebe stops and pricks her ears. She can hear the sound of whimpering near by. She follows the sound along another tunnel and comes across a huddled figure.*

Phoebe) Saffie! What's up?

Saffie) I'm lost! And I can't see! And I can't hear! And I can't smell! And I ca--

Phoebe) Ok! Ok! I get it! Follow me, I'll find the way out.

Saffie) But how can you?!

Phoebe) I'm a gerbil!! Going along pitch black tunnels is what we do! Now come this way, I was on the right track before I came this way, so follow me...

*They go back to the tunnel Phoebe was in before. They go along a bit further, then...*

Phoebe) Whats that?!

*Her ears go back against her head slightly as a high pitched pipping echos through the tunnel.*

Voice) ME!!

Phoebe&Saffie) kight?!

Kight) Yes! I'm lost!!

Phoebe) But you're a bat aren't you?!

Kight) Yes, but that doesn't stop me from going down the same tunnel twice!

Phoebe) Come with us, we'll take you! I can smell it when I've already gone down some place.

*They continue walking for sometime, gradually picking up more people as they go, and when they finally reach the end, they have most of the teenage Phases with them.*

Phoebe) Look! Light!

*They all run towards it and spill out into a a huge circular room. A load of people who are sitting behind desks look up in mild surprise.*

Woman) Very good. The first ones back. Well done Phoebe, full marks!

Phoebe) Well, I, I...

Man) You not only completed the tasks very well, but you also helped all of these others out from the maze. Well done!

*Just then Jetta comes stumbling from the tunnel. She is dirty, dusty, disheveled, and very very wet. She forces a smile on her face. She hasn't noticed the others yet.*

Jetta) *Breathlessly* So, I'm the first one, am I? Good, because I--

*Some one clears their throat. She looks round.*

Jetta) WHAT?! I AM NEVER LAST!! I HAVE TO BE FIRST!! NO ONE CAN HAVE BEATEN ME!!! I AM PURELY THE BEST! NO ONE CAN HAVE GOTTEN HERE BEFORE ME!! NOT LEAST HER!!

*She points savagely at Phoebe*

Jetta) SHE CHEATED!! SHE MUST'VE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!

*She faints*

Phoebe) Ouch... she can yell...

Italics) Oooh dear... Jetta is NOT happy...

Phoebe) How did he get in here?!

Woooooow... that felt weird...

Italics) Recap: There is a war-- the good Phases against the bad Phases. Phoebe was bored of being human so she wanted to 'get turned' into a Phase. Whoa.

*Everyone is standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs. (Not just the Gerbilzzzz Gang, but loads of other people too) Suddenly there are a laod of yelps and gasps coming from the doors at the tops of the stairs. Then silence.*

Hope) What just happened?

Glory) No idea, Italics?

Italics) I think... they all just got phasenated.

Glory) Bless you.

Italics) No! I mean they just got zapped with with whatever 'turns' them.

*They wait a bit more...

.............

.............

.............

..............*

*BANG! THUMP! YELP! HISS! OUCH!... meow.*

Hope) What was that?!

Italics) Don't know...

*More waiting...*

*Suddenly the doors burst open and a load of teenagers run out. Last is Phoebe who does flips down the stairs.*

Italics) Show off...

Hope) So how was it?

Phoebe) Strange... I can't really describe it... it was like something was rushing at me...

Glory) Whats happened?

*She points to a bandage on Phoebe's wrist.*

Phoebe) One of the others, er, 'lost control'.

*She looks meaningfully at a girl with long black hair. She turns away with her nose in the air.*

Hope & Glory) Cat.

Phoebe) Yes.

Italics) So, what do you turn into?

Phoebe) This!!

*She grins and slowly begins to shrink. Her ears move onto her head as the become curved like a mouse. Her nose lengthens into a snout and her teeth grow like a rabbits. There is a rustling sound as a tail grows and in Phoebe's place there stands a...*

Italics) Gerbil?!

Hope) I think it's a great choice. Well done Phoebe!

*Italics starts laughing. How can a gerbil look indignant?!*

Glory) It's a great gerbil actually. There bigger than Mongolian Gerbils.

*Italics is still laughing. He stops laughing when Phoebe jumps up and bites him on the arm.*

Italics) Ooooooooow!!

*Phoebe phases back, but keeps the ears, tail and claws of a gerbil. She looks satisfied.*

Phoebe) That's paid a very old debt.

Glory) So, a Great Gerbil! That's cool!

Hope) Yeah!

Phoebe) Thanks! They're usually not so big, but as I'm a Phase, my animal is bigger than usual.

Italics) I like the tail. It's fluffy.

Phoebe) Maybe the site of blood has made him go funny.

Hope) *Looking at Italic's bite wound* No, I think he's just a bit random. Wow Phoebe, you have sharp teeth.

Phoebe) Thanks!

Girl with black hair) I heard that great gerbils carry some nasty disease! Better keep away from her! *A group of girls around her sneer and giggle.*

*Phoebe gives her an exasperated look.*

Phoebe) Jetta, apparently everything carries some form of disease. But I'd prefer that than hair balls.

*Jetta goes pink and stalks off. The group follow, trying to look mean while trying not to laugh.*

Phoebe) Well, she could be a problem.

Italics) ooh! Stuff is happening! Dun dun dun!

Oh... That explains a lot...

*Everyone is sitting round a table which is piled high with food. They are all stuffing themselves. A woman is holding a deep conversation with Phoebe, while a man explains to Italics and the gerbils what is going on.*

Man) That Terror Lizard was one of the bad guys in the war. All the reptiles are. But there are other Phases who aren't so bad. Like Charlotte over there.

*He points to a girl with ginger hair.*

Hope) She's a cat.

Man) Yes, how could you tell?

Glory) We're gerbils. I think we should be able to recognize a cat.

Man) Fair point. Anyway, we're having a war. The good Phases against the Bad Phases. And we're winning!! We didn't know that there was an impostor here though...

Italics *His mouth full of food* Well *Slurp* it's a good thing *Gulp* that we came here *Swallow* and revealed him!

Man) It sure was!

*With Phoebe and the woman...*

Phoebe) Yes, I'm sure.

Woman) Really? Once it's done, you can't go back.

Phoebe) I'm very sure. Orlaigh Curer became a vampire so I want to become something now.

Woman) Ok.... I'll talk with the boss. But you'll need a special license.

*The Boss walks in.*

Boss) It's ok, Beth, I've given her one.

Phoebe) No you--

Random Dude) License card for Regina Dove!!

Phoebe) Oh, thanks.

Boss) No problem. You helped us catch the impostor! You have to be rewarded!

Phoebe) Awesome! So you'll do it?

Boss) Sure.... Come with me...

Italics) Ooh... I wonder whats happening... Well, I hope that we'll find out soon!

WARNING!! This post has very violent and grusome events in it!! Young children should be discouraged from reading it!! --Blogger.

 *Phoebe is looking at a corner of a cell. In it is Italics. He is bound so tightly in chains that you can't even see his body, only his head. There also 3 cages around him. The walls of the cell are renforced concrete. Whoa.*

*Phoebe turns her head very slowly towards the man. Her face is purple.*

Phoebe) You let him go now or I'll detach your head form your body.

Man) I'm afraid that you need a special pass to order anyone like me around.

Phoebe) But I have one.

Man) Lets see then

*Phoebe holds out her hand and the man bends closer. Phoebe then slaps him around the face.*

Man) You... I... don't.......................... YOU HAVE NOW MADE ME REEEEEALY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*He starts to turn red. Then redder. He isn't just flushing. Red scales are pushing their way out from under his skin. His fingers lengthen, turn red and sprout horrible long claws. A red lizard's tail pushes it's way out from the back of his trousers and his teeth lengthen to become as long and as sharp as knives. Oh Lord.*

Phoebe) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

*The lizard-thing takes a swipe at her. It misses but smashes through all the cages and the chains around Italics. He yelps and jumps away.*

Italics) Well, thank you for coming to see me, but NO THANK YOU for releasing a Terror Lizard on us!!

Phoebe) How was I supposed to know that he was a Terror Lizard?!

*They jump up as the lizards tail comes towards them. The lizard's head seems to have gotten stuck in the wall, and is thrashing about to try and free itself.*

Phoebe) Maybe we should run.

Italics) Yeah.

*Halfway to the door...*

Phoebe) WHAT ABOUT HOPE AND GLORY?!

*The lizard has got it's head out of the wall but it still thrashing. You can see 2 shapes scurrying about under it's shirt.*

Phoebe) Oh no!

*Then several people run in. They point huge ray guns at the lizard and fire them. He begins to shrink back to his normal human size. Hope and Glory run across to Phoebe.*

Phoebe) Don't scare me like that!! Now come here and let me hug you!

One of the people) Thank you!! Is there anything we can do for you?

Italics) An explanation of WHAT THE HELLS BEEN GOING ON might be nice.

Person) Come with me...

Where IS Italics anyway?

Phoebe) Well, last I heard he was getting his License To Italic back after it was taken from him by the UK's Italic-ing council.

Hope) He said that it would only take about 3 days!

Glory) Why are we even bothering to look for him?! He's been a pain in the ares since day one!

Hope) Oh shut up!!! It was YOU who was so worried when he didn't reply to any of our e-mails!

Phoebe) ANYWAY, y'know the cars? And my scooter?

Hope & Glory) Ye-es...

Phoebe) Well, Italics gave me these things to put on them which would allow us to get to the council!

Hope) Wow! Lets go!

Glory) Yeah!

Phoebe) Ok! I'll go get my scooter! You 2 attach your cars to it when I get back!

*She runs off and gets it.*

Phoebe) I've put the hand-held on this handily placed holder. Now I type in the code and--

Hope and Glory in their cars.

  Hope above, Glory below.

 *WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!*

*They are suddenly being pulled through some sort of purple and pink portal.*

Glory) THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF TIME-AND-SPACE VORTEX!!

Hope) HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

Glory) THEY ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!

*They are pulled through to an impossibly whit atrium. A man in long white robes looks up and them in mild surprise.*

Man) Ah! There you are! I believe that you are here about your friend and companion Markus?

Phoebe) What?

Man) *Sigh* Italics wasn't his real name y'know!

Phoebe) Anyway, we want to know why he hasn't been answering any of our e-mails!!

Man) Well, we have had some, er, complications with his, er, rooms, so he has had to have to been moved to a, er, stronger dwelling place.

Phoebe) Ok, let me through.

Man) Young lady, I'm afraid you need a--

Phoebe) I DON'T CARE!! JUST SHOW ME WHERE HE IS OR YOU WILL MOST UNFORTUNATELY HAVE A COLLISION  WITH MY FIST!!!!

Man) Er, this way, young lady... by the way, what is your name?

Phoebe) Regina Dove.

Man) Not fooled easily, eh?

Phoebe) No. I've just read Skulduggery Pleasant.

Man) Of course. Just through here...

*Pause.*

Phoebe) Oh God!!!

Dun dun dun duuuuun!!

The Gerbils cars...

Glory) Are they ready yet?! Are they ready?! Oooh oooh OOOOOH!!!!

Hope) Eerm... they've been ready for 2 minuets now, sis.

Glory) Oh

Phoebe) Here you are! You're cars!

Glory) Wahoo!

Hope) Cool!

*The gerbils hop into the cars.*

Glory) Ooh! I like my one!! It's flowery!

Hope) You didn't make this one did you Phoebe?

Phoebe) Well no, but it's less likely to fall apart.

Hope) Good 'cause I like it!

Glory) Are they for pulling along? Can you pull us please?

Phoebe) Sure!

Hope and Glory) YAY!!

*Phoebe pulls them along and they whoop with pleasure.*

Phoebe) I'll try to put some photo's on the next post.

Glory) Yay!

Hope) Awsome!

All) Good bye!!!!