A Place to Hide...?

* HAHAHAHA... HA... ha... ha.... I don't know how many of your noticed this, but being tickled by a feather isn't actually that... well... ticklish.*

Naw) What?! You are able to resist?! Aaaagh! Hey, you lot, go bother the others while I try to sort this out. Mutter, mumble, mutter...

Meanwhile...

(We are in the middle of London and the gang is staggering out of a green Volvo that looks as if it has seen better days.)

Phoebe) Italics... remind me never to let you drive again.

Italics) Well, Volvo's were never really my thing. I'd've much preferred the Ford, or maybe the Toyota.

Phoebe) ... Face it, Italics, you can't drive.

Italics) Well, I got us here, didn't I?

Hope) Yes, but with more bruises than skin.

Glory) It wasn't that bad.

Hope) I never thought I'd see the day that you, of all people, would be defending Italics.

Phoebe) Please don't start another argument! C'mon, we need to find this woman who can help us.

Italics) She should be living at number 23... 20, 21, 22, 23! This one.

(Phoebe knocks on the door.)

Voice) (From inside the house) I'm coming!

(The door opens to reveal a woman with shoulder length black hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, and pale skin. She is wearing a rather clingy red dress. Phoebe looks rather unnerved and Italics blown away)

Italics) Er... hey....

Phoebe) Hi, Tim told us to come here...?

Woman) Oh yes, Tim. Well, please come in.

Italics) Er, um,... canIkissyou??

 (Embarrassed silence)

Woman) I beg your pardon...?

(Phoebe does a 'give me strength' look)

Phoebe) Excuse us for a moment.

(Phoebe drags Italics away from the door and there is a loud slapping sound followed by a yelp)

Phoebe) ... and that should teach you to have better manners!

(Phoebe and Italics come back. Italics is rubbing his right cheek)

Phoebe)  I'm sorry, madam.

Woman) Not at all! Oh, and please call be Rosalind.

Phoebe) Well, Rosalind, as I said, Tim sent us here because he said you could help us.

Rosalind) And why do you need help?

Glory) We're fleeing from the government.

(Rosalind looks at Glory with mild surprise, then back at Phoebe)

Rosalind) Ah. I see. Well, come in then.

(Everyone goes in. The door closes behind them)

(...)

(...)

(...)

(Oh, ****)

Sorry!!

Phoebe) Sorry about the posting delay, but I've been rather focused on My (Totally Original and 100% Made Up) Stories at the moment. Yes, I know it doesn't look like it, but it's because I've been writing non-publishing stories just for fun. I am writing the next Gerbilzzzz post but it may not be finished for a while. Just try to wait please!!

...Damn That Government.

(Everyone is gathered around a huge table stacked with food. Phoebe and Italics are both wearing clean clothes and a lot of plasters.)

Italics (between mouthfuls) So, you own this place, huh?

Voice(Tim) Yes I do. I think it's pretty darn awesome.

Phoebe) It certainly is! But now, down to business, do you have an idea why government agents are chasing us?

Tim) I do. It's because a: you're a Phase and b: you know that some animals can talk. The government want your DNA and more talking animals to join there side.

Hope) Ouch.

Glory) Whoa.

Italics) Shoot.

Phoebe) ... damn that government.

Italics) That's the name of this plotline.

Hope) I was wondering before. I see why now.

Glory) Well, Tim, do you know anyone who can help us? The government sent agents to break into Phoebe's house! I'm scared!!

Tim) Well, I can't let you stay here much longer. It's the government's permission that keeps this place legal to live in. I do however know someone who may be able to help you.

Glory) May be able to help us?

Tim) Look, she's very able and knows what to do.

Phoebe) Well, it's the best chance we've got, Glory. I think we should trust whoever it is.

Tim) I'll give you an address and some disguises. Italics, can you drive?

Italics) What? Oh yeah, yeah, just, I haven't for a while...

Hope) Italics, how old are you?

Italics) That is a very personal question, Hope.

Hope) Sorry, but you can drive yet you sometimes act as if you were only about 13-15 years old. And often 4.

Italics) I'm an Italicer. I'm ageless.

Glory) Charming.

Italics) Indeed.

Phoebe) ANYWAY, We'll need you to drive us, Italics.

Glory) We don't even know where we're going yet.

Tim) Here. Follow these directions and when she answers the door say that Tim told you to come here.

(Tim hands Phoebe a piece of paper.)

Phoebe) Well, We'd best get going then...

Italics) Gasp! Will we be safe from the mighty claws of the government? Will the person we're going to be able to hide us? And will I remember how to drive in time to get us there??

I Surrender. Uh.

Phoebe) Ow... Where am I? What happened?

Hope) You were knocked out. As for where we are, I have no idea.

Phoebe) Well, is everyone ok?

Italics) No. We've just fallen about 30 feet through a glass roof, Phoebe. We are not ok.

Phoebe) Well where's Glory?

Glory) Here I am. I was exploring.

Phoebe) And what did you find out?

Glory) That we are in a big circular room which used to have a glass ceiling.

Italics) Used to?

Glory)You broke it when you fell through.

Italics) Oh yeah I remember. That's why there's glass everywhere. Ow.

Phoebe) Ow indeed. Well, if we're lucky, whoever owns this place'll give us a hand.

Glory) And hopefully explain to us where the Hell we are. There were some passages leading out from this room but I didn't go down them. Too scary.

Phoebe) All this talk of passages is reminding me forcefully of the Phases HQ.

Italics) Oh please, not there again!

Voice) No, you are not There Again. Lights!!

(The room if flooded with light from nowhere in particular.)

Voice) There. That's better. Now, you seem to have fallen through our roof. A very expensive one at that.

Gwithian) Hey that line's copyright I could sue you for that!!

Voice) Oh shush you said 'important one at that' and where would you get the money to sue us anyway?!

Gwithian) Mutter... mumble....

Voice) Exactly. Well, I suppose I have some explaining to do.

Italics) You bet you do...

'Alice in Wonderland' phrases keep running through my mind.

Italics) Phoebe (Who is in human form), Hope, Glory and me are currently running through Bushy Park with no idea where we're going. As you may have noticed I'm filling in for Asterisks as he's strapped to a chair at the moment in some government lab and can't do his describing thing. So, yeah, we're running through a lot of tall grass towards the Woodland Gardens where we'll hopefully be able to find shelter for the night. Oh, and us of course

Phoebe) Enough with the lame jokes already! Anyway, we only need to stay there long enough to get a plan of action sorted. We'll be there soon, gosh, all the running we've been doing has made us a lot fitter!

Italics) Oh yeah!

Hope) (Waking up on Phoebe's shoulder) Hm? Wassup?

Phoebe) For some of us anyway... We're nearing the Woodland gardens, Hope.

Hope) Ah, good, yes... (Goes back to sleep)

Italics) Do we have a Bracket Guy now?

Phoebe) It seems we do, but he'll only be temporary.

Italics) We carry on running through the Woodland Garden until we find a place that's really like... well... woodland, before Phoebe picks a suitable spot to set up camp. We sit down.

Phoebe) This seems good. We won't be seen, and we can easily may a sort of shelter. Right, now, Italics. I want you to-- AAAGH!!

Italics) Phoebe!! AAAGH!! I'm falling! It seems the forest floor we were sitting on has collap-- OW!!

Phoebe) Well how long did you think it would take to reach the bottom? Wait a minuet, we're on glass.

Italics) So we are! Do you th-- Ow!

Phoebe) Ah, there you are!

Italics) Hope and Glory have just fallen on us.

Glory) Well we're lighter so it takes longer for us to fall.

Hope) I can give a scientific explanation if you--

Phoebe) No, thank you, Hope.

Glory) Wait, whats that noise?

Hope) Sounds like... cracking glass.

(Pause while everyone listens)

Italics) How can you hear that? I don't hear anything.

Phoebe) Gerbil senses. Wait a moment, did you say--

(Smash)

This post is unable to continue as the glass surface the writer's were sitting on has collapsed. --Blogger.

WHAT THE ****?!

*I am currently strapped to a table-chair thing. It is very dark in here. To all of you who read this post, I have a message to pass on in case I cannot post again. HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!*

*At this point the lights come on and the agents with their rodents come in. I am absolutely terrified.*

Rat) Ha ha! Agent Nut, bring the torture equipment!

*T-torture?!*

Rat) Tell us about Regina Dove, and you will be spared the agony. But if not... well, you'll crack. They all crack in the end.

*Gulps*

Rat) Well, are you going to talk?

*NO! I will not betray my friend!!*

Rat) Very well. Agent Squeak?

Agent Squeak) Yes, Agent Naw?

Naw) Commenced torture!!!

*Squeak reaches into a box. She then gingerly draws out...*

*A FEATHER?!*

Naw) Ok, start the tickling...

*Aaaaaaagh!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!*

Italics) Oh no! Will Asterisk crack and reveal Regina Dove?! Will Regina come to the rescue just in time?! Watch for the the next--

Naw) GET 'IM!!!

Italics) Ohh no you don't!!

*He promptly disappears.*

Naw) !!"@:>>_<

Hectic.

*Phoebe stumbles into her room and closes the door. She looks absolutely exhausted.*

Phoebe) Hope, never again am I going to a Crittermas party. Never.

Hope) Er... wanna chocolate?

*Suddenly there is a loud crash and the door is pulled off it's hinges!*

 Phoebe) It's a push door, dumbo.

*She Phases just encase and turns to see who has been stupid enough to pull a push door.*

*Just to say that for a while the 'Rodent translator version 5x' is going to be on...*

Phoebe) Slick.

*Thank you! Anyways...*

 *In the doorway are 3 humans in the sort of suits government agents wear, who've pulled the door off it's hinges. Each have a rodent sitting on their shoulders: A squirrel, a guinea pig and a rat. The squirrel looks at Phoebe the gerbil.*

Squirrel) GET HER!!!!

*Chaos.*

*The agents try to grab Phoebe but she slips under the bed. They pull the bed out of the way (this takes some time as it is a platform) by which time Phoebe has slipped away and is posing as a toy. This doesn't work so she slides though the men's legs and out the door frame, with Hope, Glory and Italics following her.*

Guinea pig) Darn!

Squirrel) Shoot!

Rat) Fu-- hey, look who's here...

*What?! *Gulps**

Rat) You'd better be coming with us mister...

*Aaaagh! Phoebe! Help MEEEEEE...*